Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Perspective and Healing

4.25 x 5.5

The Perspective:
Today, I re-joined my Romans Bible Study(BSF). It is a very intense and effective study. I was in leadership when this year started, but I dropped out because I was hired full time at a physical therapist's new practice. Then, before I could start it, I had to give up my new full time job, when my husband was transfered. And then, there was the surgery and all the other stuff. So, now that things are trying to settle down in my life ( if you don't count the house being for sale and graduation preparation), I decided to go back and finish the tail end of the year. One of the ladies in the new small group I helped to start last fall was going thru Chemo at the time. I found out today, that her cancer has returned with a vengence.
And then, I just received an email "Immediate Request for Prayer" about a young lady ( I don't know her personally) whose due date was a week ago. The Dr. couldn't detect the heart beat and she was being rushed to the hospital. My heart goes out to both of them and my attention is focused on praying for them right now.
I have a card that I am going to send to the lady from my Bible study. I don't have words of comfort for her, I wish I could make it all better. But the scripture I used on this card comes with a promise. I know and am experiencing God's sustaining power in my life . The Bible verse stamp is Biblical Impressions and says "Cast thy burden upon the Lord and He shall sustain thee. Psalm 55:22"

5 x 7

As you can see I have two versions of it. The handmade paper was sent to me by The Rubber Stamper as part of a Design Team Challenge. I doubt if you can tell w/o clicking on the pictures that I stamped the trees image(SU) twice creating a subtle shadow effect.

The Healing
I promised to tell you about my healing over the weekend. First of all, I don't know what it is, but just being around my family made me feel better. But the 5 hour drive down was probably the first solid block of silent and still time I'd had in a week. You are probably wondering how in the world I can use words like silent and still with 4 kids in the car?? I have one word for that-- headphones! They were plugged into DVDs and Mp3s and DSs and I had my music. I love technology! So anyway, Friday was a tough day for me at first, because I was still and I had time to think about my baby. The stages of grief involves denial and bargaining. I thought I was done with that and accepting the loss, but I was overwhelmed with sadness during the drive down. At first, I was encouraged by the music I was listening to (Larnelle Harris, Yolanda Adams, and CeCe Winans) . But when I finally got to the hotel and tried to go to sleep, there was silence. In that silence, I felt a reminder from the Holy Spirit. Principles that I've learned a long time ago during another grieving process.
1. God doesn't make mistakes.
2. We each are given a God designed life span with a purpose. For some of us our life span is 7 weeks and for some it's 70 years. I don't fully know all of the purpose of this child's short life, just yet, but I can't feel like I was cheated out of something. I have a feeling I am learning and will learn a lot from this experience. I will be looking for those lessons.
I'm still sad sometimes, but God is sustaining me.

1 comment:

Theresa said...

Not sure if you will see this comment or not, but just wanted to let you know I'm praying for your continued healing. I lost a baby 10 years ago and felt the depths of despair but now I hang on to God's love for my child and the hope that we will meet one day.
It will just take a wee little longer than the usual 9 months! :)
She will always be loved and cherished even if my physical arms are unable to hold her.
She is in the everlasting arms of my heavenly father!